Birth & Pregnancy Story of Anna

We met Anna early in her pregnancy, thanks to another Mamamoon mama who was a client of hers and connected us. We were truly honored to welcome her to our Mamamoon community. Not only were we able to support Anna, but she shared with us all the tips and guidance she found valuable, allowing us to help other mothers-to-be as well. Needless to say, we are deeply appreciative of Anna for taking the time to write her pregnancy journey and birth story, highlighting all the things that helped her along the way. By sharing her experience, we can now support even more women and families.

Thank you, Anna, for your trust, openness, curiosity, and your eagerness to assist women everywhere.

Giving birth was the best experience of my life.

Pregnancy journey and what helped me

I’d had a wonderful pregnancy apart from a few weeks of fatigue in the first trimester, so good I’d often forget I was pregnant!

I’d always been curious towards birth. I’m 38 so most of my friends already had babies and working as a chiropractor caring for pregnant women and children I’d heard countless birth stories, some good, some challenging but was always very curious as to what birth would look like for me. In chiropractic we have a deep appreciation for the wisdom in nature and the innate intelligence of the human body and to me, pregnancy and birth was the ultimate expression of this intelligence. I believe this curiosity of what my birth may be, combined with letting go and trusting nature and the support around me allowed me to have the birth I did.

I had great support throughout the pregnancy. I was being adjusted weekly by a chiropractor, before bed each night I would practicing my hypnobirthing affirmations and breathing techniques, pregnancy yoga once a week and been seeing a wonderful acupuncturist in the last 6 weeks. I was able to do reformer Pilates till 36 weeks and I was lucky in that my job I move around all day so I was also getting lots of daily movement rather than having to sit down which I was so grateful for.

I had read some great books like Ina May Gaskin’s; a guide to childbirth and made a conscious effort to listen to positive birthing stories (and avoid the negative ones where possible!).

The Mamamoon app was a great support for the weekly reminders whether it was when to start the homemade raspberry leaf tea, how to use a rebozo, foods to avoid etc and made an easy map to enjoying pregnancy and birth.  

We had “dated” a few midwifery practices but not found the correct match until we chose our caseload midwives at Kairos midwives. A lot of women in the Netherlands don’t know that if you pay €1000 or so you can choose your own midwife rather than being assigned to a group of midwives. This is where all of your appointments throughout your pregnancy are at home, there is no time limit for appointments and there are only one or two midwives so you get to form a connection with the person and know who will be at your birth. For me was really important to feel safe and supported during my pregnancy and birth and familiar with the people I would have around me in labour so I would be able to surrender and let go.

We had considered a doula however, our Kraamzorg who was previously a doula had offered to come to our birth to support should we feel we needed her. My other suggestion that many women don’t know is that you choose your own Kraamzorg rather than be assigned a Kraamzorg at random for no extra cost. Lots of kraamzorgs will have their own website so you can search for one that aligns with your values and how you would like to be cared for after birth however, they book out extremely fast. I had booked with ours at 7 weeks pregnant. We’d chosen Siri from Empowering birth as she had a focus on postpartum nutrition and a nurturing, holistic approach to her work as a Kraamzorg.

With these people as support I felt ready for birth physically and mentally.

Birth story - how it started and the support I used

About 20:00 on a Monday night I started having some surges. I was a week “overdue” at that stage but had been having the same feelings sporadically for a week or so before so didn’t pay any attention to it and went about our evening routine.

Around 21:00 the surges started to be every 5 minutes and a bit more consistent so we started to suspect that perhaps this may be the real deal but again, didn’t pay so much attention to it and went about our night as normal. Our midwife had told us once we get surges 3 minutes apart we were to call so we had a nice walk as I’d heard anecdotally from a few mothers that walking really helped initiate labor and to our luck it wasn’t raining for once in Amsterdam so I rubbed some sage oil on my tummy and we headed out.

The walk was good for some movement and distraction and once we got home I was still getting surges so we were now convinced this was real labor and decided to set up. We had a tens machine, birth pool, massage gun, rebozo, oils and hypnobirthing notes ready to go.

The surges gave me some pain but I found it to be very manageable. I used the hypnobirthing breathing techniques and bouncing up and down on the exercise ball and humming. They would last anywhere from 30-50 seconds and in between surges I would use clary sage (to progress labor) and copahiba oil (for pain).

Knowing that first births take some time I wanted to make sure it was really labor and it was progressing so I decided once we had 10 consecutive contractions at 3 minutes then we could call our midwife. We were handling things fine so far and I didn’t want to get her out of bed for nothing :-)

Time to call the midwife - birth story continues

Around 2am we had our 10 consecutive surges at 3 minutes apart so we called our midwife to update her that there was some action. I’d been having contractions for 6 hours by now and still feeling really good. I was amazed how in between surges you feel completely normal as if nothing was happening. My boyfriend and I were laughing and entertaining each other when I wasn’t having surges. We even joked how after a busy few days we’d been looking forward to a good night sleep that we now understood we would definitely be missing. We approached the birth with curiosity, as something fun with a sprinkle of nervousness (being the first time) as we felt we had done everything we could to prepare and now it was about letting go and seeing where the experience would take us.

When we called our midwife Caroline and she said we sounded really relaxed and asked us if we would like her to come, we figured we had some time to go and I felt like I could handle things well, so we thought to keep going and she told us to call her again when things progressed or if we felt we needed her.

So more ball bouncing, breathing and humming as the surges progressed to being around 50 seconds and coming every 2-3 minutes. There was more pain at this point and I wanted to change things up get more comfortable. My boyfriend asked if I would like the tens machine or massage gun but I said I would like to keep it for when I really needed it which even though things were intensifying I didn’t feel I was at that point where I needed extra help for the pain so I searched for different positions that may help. I tried lying in bed and didn’t like that but found a great position on my hands and knees with my elbows on the bed. It allowed me to have my belly hang and be able to move my hips from side to side. Around this time I started to go more inwards mentally and block out a lot of what was going on around me. Between surges I would recount positive mantras that if picked up along the way.

Positive birth mantras

I’d listened to a health podcast the week before and the interviewee said something really stuck with me “as humans our DNA is imprinted with thousands of years of wisdom supporting us to thrive”. It made me feel as though I had the ultimate “team mate” with this wisdom literally imprinted on my DNA supporting me giving birth. It was what I was made to do. So I’d tell myself “there’s thousands of years of wisdom inside me bringing me to this moment”.

“There’s thousands of years of wisdom inside me bringing me to this moment”

The second was a story my grandmother had told me as a young girl that also helped her through her own 4 unassisted labors. My grandmother was post war and a very black and white character. As a teenager she delivered the mail by bike in a country town and recalled that she would deliver the mail to a woman with two children whose husband was away fighting in the war. She said each week she would deliver the mail to this family and the woman who was pregnant at the time would always come to meet her at the gate with two of her other children to receive the mail. As the pregnancy advanced the woman would continue to meet her at the gate for the mail with her two children, then one week when my grandmother delivered the mail, the woman met her at the gate as usual to pick up the mail with the same two children and a baby. She told me she thought of this woman when she delivered her own 4 babies and how giving birth is the most natural thing in the world. I grew up with her telling me “There’s nothing to be scared of, it can hurt but you’re strong so you just do it then it’s finished and your fine.” For me, the practicality and confidence she instilled neutralized a lot of the fear around birth that society uninvitingly gives to women. For this I would repeat “this is the most natural thing in the world and I’m strong”.

“This is the most natural thing in the world and I’m strong”

The third I had was welcoming the contractions. I’d read a birth story from Ina May Gaskins book about a woman she assisted in birth really resisted the surges for the pain and how the mind and the body then don’t work together. She’s said that each surge, even though it may be painful was another step forwards toward your baby being here. It was a positive  thing and something to embrace rather than something to resist.

The mantra I had for this was: “I am another step closer”.

“I am another step closer”

The fourth mantra I had was very simple: “If billions of other women can do it then so can I and it will turn out fine in the end”. I felt confident in what my body could do and should it not go exactly to plan and come to the point that I needed medical support, in the end I would be here, the baby would be here and that was the most important thing.

“If billions of other women can do it then so can I and it will turn out fine in the end”

During the surges my mind had blocked out any of the external world and in between surges I would repeat these mantras out loud to myself over and over again.

The birthing phase

About 3:30am surges were anywhere between 1:30-2:30 apart and the pain had increased. I told my boyfriend that I would like our midwife to come now as I wanted her support. As he was calling her she was on our doorstep saying she hadn’t heard from us for a while but had a feeling it was time she had to be there.

I was still on my hands and knees in the bedroom so she came to check on me there and told me it looked as though  things were ready to go for some pushing. She then told my boyfriend to start filling the bath asap. I hadn’t thought I was this far and was very much inward focused so when our midwife said with some urgency in her voice for Thijs to fill the bath as we are into the next stage, Thijs had all the taps in the house running.

I continued laboring on my hands and knees in the bedroom, as things were intense I was really able to grip the duvet and also moan into a pillow whilst moving my hips around. Looking back I see how the release of humming or moaning was a great pain relief for me through the entire labor.

Once the bath was full Caroline gave me a quick examination to confirm I was dilated and ready to go and then I was able to get in the bath about 4:30

The curtains were closed, the lights were dim, the house was quiet and it felt like a gentle moment of time to be in.

I was completely unaware but during that time our Kraamzorg and student Kraamzorg had arrived to assist and filmed the birth which has given us the most wonderful memories to look back on.

Caroline advised me to start pushing and explained how to do it as this being my first birth I didn’t know but instinctively felt being in a squatting position holding onto the side of the bath felt best. Throughout the labor I’d visualized the movement of the baby very specifically. From the contractions of my uterus pushing the baby down, to my cervix opening up and at this point I visualized in great detail the baby passing through my pelvis. In the later weeks of my pregnancy I was using an epino device which helps to stretch the perineal tissue and prevent tears but also to give the feeling of what birth can feel like. When using the epino I would also visualize the baby being birthed so when I was actually in the pushing phase, this moment seemed somewhat familiar for me. Caroline invited me to feel the head of the baby at one point which for me was so surreal and gave more detail for my visualization and motivation. I had twenty minutes of pushing phase in total, Caroline gave me gentle verbal support when I needed it, Thijs sat by my head and held my hands but apart from that it was quiet and I was untouched.

It was me and the baby working together.

I was able to birth the baby and lift her out from under the water myself and hold her close to me for as long as I needed. The placenta came after 15 minutes which was then put in a bowl floating in the bath so it would stay attached to the baby, Thijs joined in the bath to hold her while my Kraamzorg gave me something to eat. The three of us sitting together in the bath together and the morning sun rising lighting up the room was magical. It was a new day and a new life for us.

The afterbirth

Caroline asked that when I was ready to get out that she could inspect me on the couch if I needed stitches whilst Thijs held Femke in the bath. I didn’t need any stitches so I was able to feed Femke lying on the couch and holding her. About an hour later, Caroline asked if Thijs would like to cut the cord. Our Kraamzorgs saved the placenta, made us some breakfast and tidied up getting us ready to go to bed for a nap.

I couldn’t have asked for a better birth, it surpassed my wishes completely.

I am so proud of what my body, and every woman’s body can do and the power we hold inside of us to create and birth life.

It has solidified the confidence and appreciation I have for the innate intelligence in nature and what we are capable of as humans. The experience was a true gift and I would do it again and again.

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